River is Waiting

 

Wally Lamb

River is Waiting

I picked up this book simply because I’ve enjoyed Wally Lamb’s previous work. I didn’t even read the synopsis…I just dove in completely blind. In hindsight, I wasn’t prepared. I’m still not sure how to talk about it, except to say…this was brutal.

I finished it over the weekend, and if you’re considering reading it, I’d urge you to ask yourself…are you emotionally ready to take this on? The book demands your full attention and deep empathy. More than once, I had to walk away. It doesn’t sugarcoat the darkness, and even now, I’m trying to shake it off.

Within the first 12 pages…you’re delivered a very dark, disturbing and HEARTBREAKING intro to a book…haven’t read one like that in a while.  For some reason, I kept going.

The protagonist, Corby, is deeply flawed…believably so. Before the tragedy, he’s already unraveling. He’s selfish, impulsive, and makes terrible decisions. But aren’t we all flawed in some way? The thing is…he thinks he is fine.  His growth is messy, slow, and hard-earned. There’s no dramatic turnaround…just a painful crawl toward something resembling redemption.

Corby loses his job and starts his morning with Ativan chased with hundred-proof rum…the real kicker…he is a full-time care giver to his two-year-old twins during the day.  His addiction steals the life of his son, Niko.  I won’t say how, it’s revealed early, and in excruciating detail.

From there, the novel becomes a deep dive into the American prison system. We follow Corby as he navigates incarceration, and the story becomes a study in brutality, injustice, and survival. But at its core, this is a story about empathy….about facing your demons, atoning for your past, and questioning whether true change is even possible.

What did I like?  There’s a heron mentioned, lol. 

The title, River is Waiting, refers to the Wequonnoc river.  For Corby, it was a childhood sanctuary from his abusive father, and later, a place to quiet his racing thoughts. The river borders the prison, and he can hear it from his cell. He reflects that its current flows south…toward home. But does he even have a home to return to?

I expected the book to end with his release and a resolution with Emily, the mother of his daughter. Throughout the novel, she tells him she needs more time. She doesn’t know if she can forgive him. But maybe she always knew. The ending shocked me. Most stories follow predictable arcs…this one didn’t. I should’ve seen it coming, but I didn’t.  

A quote that hit me hard…“Having hope was never going to hurt me, but having unreasonable expectations could clobber me.”

Horrible things happen to good people. This book is a reminder to check yourself…emotionally, mentally…before you read it.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this quote, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength…carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”

It empties today of its strength…what a powerful reminder to live in the present.  To be kind to others, and to be kind to yourself.  Aren’t we all just doing the best we can?

Can I recommend this book? Honestly, I’m not sure. Part of me wishes I hadn’t read it. But I did. Remember the book, Let Them?  I’ll let YOU decide.