Tuesday, June 10, 2014

What If?

My sister Amanda recommended this book to me.  
She had recently read it for her book club.

So, I picked it up and I liked it.

Mostly, I liked it because it makes you think…
it makes you wonder and it keeps you curious.

The Husband's Secret…
and boy does he have one. 

We all have secrets. 
Don't we? 

No one's life is as neatly contained as it may appear.

Life gets messy.

 I am not into the retelling of a book…
breaking it down or providing a synopsis.
 I want to write what I thought of it...
in hopes that you might pick it up in your free time…
 and read it if you are so inclined.

Here is the jist...
There are three women who the book is built around and this secret…
this theme runs throughout the book; 
what do you do when you would rather not know something?

It is like trying to unsee something you have seen.

You can't.
So, what do you do?

This book is filled with betrayal…lies…
and truth.

Ah, the truth.

 For my wife, to be opened only in the event of my death.

There it is.
Written on the outside of a sealed envelope that you stumble upon.

Would you open it?

Before I tell you what I would do…
I feel compelled to mention that the contents of this letter..
 wasn't the real meat and potatoes of the story.

I do want to say that unlike in The Goldfinch…
I guessed what the letter admitted.
You probably will too.  

So, back to the three women…
one woman discovers a life-changing secret by her husband…
another woman is betrayed by her husband…
and finally a woman who can't let go of the pain of the past.

However, it is the consequences of this truth and the deep connections 
between the characters that unfold in the telling of the story.

The ultimate question in the book asked…
 if you found a letter addressed to you…
 with instructions not to open it until a certain event has happened…
would you go ahead and read it anyway?  

I thought about it.
What would I do?

I like to think I have a strong moral compass…
I would open the letter because it would have been written by my husband. 

I am responding to this under the pretense that
my husband wrote it and I am still happily married and I find it.

Let me tell you that if I was married…which I am not and I never have been…
 my man better not have a secret like this.

I have always had a person…
not always the same person…
but someone I could share something with.
I would hope if I ever have a husband…he will know ALL of my secrets.

I have some secrets.
Nothing like what was in this letter.
But…a few things not everyone knows.

I think everyone does.
Let's also realize…most people don't need to know everything.

What is a secret? 
Something unknown.

This guy had a secret. 

The problem with this particular secret is that it has 
a transformative effect on lives.

Secrets build walls.

I keep thinking of this…
what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive.

It seems to get easier…or does it?

No, you just have to keep building the wall.

Have you read this book?  
Do you know the secret?

I guess I don't have to tell you what it said.

I will say this again…
I would have opened the letter right when I found it.

I wouldn't have thought one second about that.

I would have had to think about what to do next.

Throughout the book the author, Liane Moriarty, writes about how one woman sold Tupperware…
and her daughter was obsessed with the Berlin Wall…
and she refers to opening Pandora's Box. 
All used as metaphors, right?  

Keeping things either in or out.

What if?

There are so many secrets about our lives we'll never know.
What if I had said yes when he asked me to marry him?
What if I had taken that job in New Orleans a year or two before Hurricane Katrina?
What if I had never left San Francisco?

We could what if ourselves to death.

At the end of the book, 
the author answers some of the potential 'what ifs' 
you may have had while reading…

I liked that.  
Sometimes, I do that too.
What if I had said yes…and I create my own conclusion…
I usually end up right here…
where I am now…knowing in my heart of hearts…
I made the best decision for myself at that time.

Moriarty ends the novel with this...

None of us ever knows all of the possible courses our lives could have 
and maybe should have taken.  
It's probably just as well.  
Some secrets are meant to stay secret forever.  
Just ask Pandora.


Friday, June 6, 2014

They Effing Forgot My Birthday!

I was sitting on the couch last night flipping channels.  
Nothing was on.
I was about to shut it down and go read or write or do something..productive…
but then I saw Sixteen Candles...

I love this movie!
And, although I've seen it a few hundred times, I stopped...
and decided to watch it again.

You remember what it's about, right?

Sam is turning 16…no one remembers…the geek loves her…she loves the stud muffin…
lots of funny lines…a character named Long Duk Dong and a happy ending.
What I may have to remind you of is that it was made in 1984…
let's see…I was about to be a freshman in High School.  

My gawd…that was 30 years ago.

And, just like the movie…that is silly and funny.

A simple-minded story of a girl turning 16…
her sweet-sixteen…which is anything but.

We can all relate to her, right?  
Use her as a springboard for our own remembrances...
I think the best part of re-watching it was seeing 
things of the not so distant past on display…
the headgear, leotards, bad hair, bad clothes, floppy disks.

They did have an epic party…pizza spinning on the record-player…
the place is a complete disaster..
a parent's worst nightmare.  
I forgot how much I hated the part where Jake finds Anthony Michael Hall underneath the small glass coffee table.
Do you remember?  
Thinking about it is making it hard to breathe.  

High School…thankfully, just a phase…
and it's all easily forgotten as time marches on.

Let's also be thankful for the simple truth Facebook wasn't developed back then.

I don't need to remember what I looked like in braces, bad hair and weird clothes.

I will say while I was watching it…
I was thinking that things do matter more when you're a teenager,
because you're experiencing it all for the first time.
Shit becomes a big deal.

The entire movie she is pining away for the Senior jock.

Jake Ryan.

What girl among us has never been in love with 'that guy'…that man…
you know the one…
the one who didn't even know we existed.

A crush.

Everyone's had one.  
It didn't even have to be the hottest guy in school.

I like this line Sam's dad says,
"That's why they call them crushes.  If they were easy, they'd call them something else."


But, maybe why I love this movie so much…is because her crush comes through.
I mean…she got Jake Ryan! 

I can't even list all the other reasons I like it…
except AMH is the best played geek --
maybe EVER.
His voice even cracks at all the right places.
He is really quite adorable.
No wonder he gets his happy ending too.
I would have nominated him for an Oscar…I would have. He is that good.

Seriously, if my boyfriend is reading this…
On my next birthday, I want a cake with candles…
sadly, there will be more than 16…
but, I want us to sit indian-style 
on a big table with the lights down low…
just the blaze from the 44 candles burning…
then…quietly…whisper to me…
make a wish…
and, I'll get to say…
it already came true…


Perfect ending to a perfect movie.
In my humble opinion.