Thursday, October 22, 2015

Til Death Do Us Part

Five years ago today... 
It doesn’t seem to matter whether it has been a week…

a month…or, in this case… 

five years. 
The pain and grief…

I will feel it for a lifetime.

one of life’s bitter truths. 

 There is no point being in denial.  

You are gone from this plane.   
To this day…

death slips into moments it should have no part in. 

 Every grand moment is a reminder of your loss. 
The empty seat.  

The empty space. 
The number I wish to call but there will be no answer. 
But, I know you are there with me, in some way.
I have seen you in the faces of strangers. 

In fact, Ashley recently sent all of us a photograph she had taken. 

 She was in DC at a Memorial and on the far left…

it looked like YOU. 

The thing I’ve learned about death…is how alive it really is. 
You lose a parent and somehow it feels like a milestone. 
 It’s life altering. 
People may think, when you passed at 84, it was normative…or expected. 
Expected or not...It had a profound effect on me. 

Five years later…

I will characterize the changes now, as positive…

but admitting…that has taken a while. 

I continue to climb life’s ladder at a steady pace. 
I've stalled a couple of times...
regained my footing.
It happens.
 I am a late bloomer. 
I will confide in you that I have never really felt ‘grown up.’
I’ll speculate that perhaps one of the best-kept secrets of life;

is that no one ever really feels that way. 

 Wait, you died…

and suddenly, I grew up.  
 I was catapulted over that maturity barrier.
  Death provides a knowledge of our limits…
and oddly that feels like the beginning of being mature. 
Dad, your life will always be a vivid one,

 the epitome of greatness and sacrifice.

 I honor and celebrate you today and always. 
I’m sorry I don't write more often. 
You had asked me to.
I will.
Til Death Do Us Part

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