Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Dear Dad


I thought of you with love today.

How could I not?  
It was about 6:00pm when Lucinda called to tell us.
I had just landed in SLC a few hours before.
You waited until I left.

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed….

How Great Tho Art...your favorite…
I can you hear you sing…
Then sings my soul…my Savior God,  to Thee

I played Carrie Underwoods version today…
good grief that woman can sing.
But it's your song.
It reminds me of you.

I think of you everyday.  
I honestly do. 
You are remembered. 

Last night, Tony suggested 
we all do a text chain today 
retelling our favorite memory of you!  
He is the sweetest.  
We all thought...what a great idea!

I have so many.

I cherish the last month I spent with you.  

We didn't always say much of anything.  

But one day…
you reached your hand over to mine and looked at me…
I could barely understand you…
but you said…
You kids brought me so much joy.

You know I have a tender heart…
 and of course when I heard you say that I started to cry.

You seemed surprised.

It was that I just didn't know you felt that way.

Joy.

It is now one of my favorite words.

YOU brought me so much joy.

Thank you for telling me that.

To this day, I marvel at your will and your determination to be independent even though you were paralyzed.  
Dad, where did you find the courage?  

To this day, I can only hope I'll be so content in solitude as you were.  

While I have spent a considerable amount of time alone since you passed on…
I try to fill my time learning…
reading…
studying something…
taking pictures…
getting outside to exercise...
just being productive.

Thank you for all of those lessons.

I'm here celebrating you.  

Tonight…as we have done every year since you passed away…
we are all cooking a steak…
lighting the candles…
playing Beethoven and pouring a splash…
all for you!

Cheers Dad! 

I love you!










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